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by Bookishnerd_9



Category: AFTG - Fandom, All For The Game, Nora Sakavic - Fandom, the foxhole court, the king’s men, the raven king - Fandom
Genre: M/M, andriel - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-28
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-11-06 18:33:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17944937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookishnerd_9/pseuds/Bookishnerd_9
Summary: Neil is having a bad day and everything acts as a trigger for him. He needs Andrew and he should just call him but Andrew is spending the day with Bee before she travels ro a conference and Neil can’t bring himself to call him.





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**Author's Note:**

> Hello lovelies, this is my second work and it’s a bit intense but hopefully it will be well received.  
> Please feel free to tell me what you think and give me feedback i would really appreciate it and i hope you will like it :)

Neil woke up panting and sweaty he kept trying to blink away identical blue eyes but they were filled with hate and anger. He turned to his side reaching for Andrew only to find his side of the bed empty, remembering that he was gone to spend the day with Bee before she left for some conference.

He stayed a moment longer staring at the ceiling trying to calm his breathing and kept repeating to himself “I’m home, I’m safe, I’m not in my father’s basement, my father is dead, I’m safe, I’m safe,...” like a mantra until he was calm enough to grab fresh clothes and head for the shower.

Breakfast was a blur he didn’t really pay attention to what was happening except that Kevin was discussing new drills with him and he couldn’t pay attention to a word he was saying, the shower didn’t help he felt like his skin was crawling and he wanted to rip it open, every time he closed his eyes he kept seeing his father’s face inches away from his and hearing his voice threatening to break his leg,

“Are you even listening to a word I'm saying” Kevin grumbled exasperated,  
“Yeah, yeah sounds good to me do whatever you see fit” Neil muttered  
“Wow, Neil not interested in exy talk, i never thought I’d live to see the day” Nicky teased.  
“Whatever you're all useless, get ready and let’s head for practice” Kevin said as he stormed away from them.

Neil didn’t really pay attention to any of that, he was focused on his breathing and calming down, he had to he couldn’t go to training in this state when they had a match this weekend “pull it together Josten” he muttered’  
“Are you okay?you seem out of sorts today, do you want me to call Andrew?”Nicky asked concern visible in his voice, Neil hadn’t even realized he talked out loud “No,no don’t call him he’s with Bee I’m fine let’s just go before Kevin comes claiming our heads for being late.”  
“Okay, just...”, Nicky hesitated “just know that I’m here if your having a bad day, tell me what you need and i will do it i promise, and don’t give me one of your famous “I’m fine”, okay?” Neil was surprised that Nicky payed attention like that but nodded all the same.

Practice was fine, in fact it was great as it helped clearing Neil’s head a bit and calming him down, well until they started doing drills.  
The sound the balls made when they hit the other side of the court triggered something in Neil that was kept at bay for a very long time,

POP  
Metal flashed a scarce inch from his face as Nathan took a swing.  
POP  
Nathan’s cleaver came down right where he’d been standing.

POP  
Nathan was sitting on top of him with his cleaver to his throat.

POP  
“Maybe we'll do both, skin you an inch or two at a time and carve the flesh out from underneath. If we do it right, you might last all night”.

POP  
"We'll slit your ankles, then your knees”.

POP  
POP  
POP

He didn’t know what happened except that one moment he was warming up to do his drills and the next he was on the floor dry heaving with all the foxes around him.

The crowd didn’t really help he needed space and air and as he tried to say so nothing came out , “Everyone just back the fuck away” Nicky suddenly yelled and surprisingly they listened to him moving away from Nicky and Neil’s trembling form on the ground.

“Just breath Neil in and out slowly” Nicky instructed in a soft yet strong voice , and Neil tried he really did but it was hard he just wanted to curl up on himself and disappear.  
“Nail Josten look at me, I’m not gonna touch you I promise but i need you to look at me, your name is Neil Josten, your a striker at Palmetto university, the foxes are your family and your safe with us.”  
Nicky kept repeating this until Neil calmed enough to get up and mutter a thank you to Nicky who took him and headed back to the dorms without a word to the team.

As soon as they reached the dorms Neil headed for his room closing the door behind him.  
“What is wrong with me? This is stupid, I'm safe and perfectly fine, they’re dead and no one is coming after me”.  
Except it didn’t help this time and panic started to rise up in his chest again.  
He didn’t know how much time had passed and a moment later Andrew was standing in front of him with rage in his eyes that made Neil flinch.  
“Nicky called, said you’re having a bad day and that you told him not to call me” Anyone hearing Andrew wouldn’t have guessed for a second that he was pissed and barely restraining his temper but Neil knew better.

“I’m fine, and you need to stay with Bee Nicky shouldn’t have called you” Neil said breathlessly, it was getting hard to breath again.

Andrew after hearing this let his mask of indifference drop for a moment but that was enough to make Neil flinch from the pain and anger he saw on Andrew’s face.  
Andrew upon seeing Neil flinch started very calm and quietly, “can i touch you?”  
Neil took a moment to consider this, he needed Andrew he truly did but he couldn’t handle being touched right now and he knew Andrew would understand so he shook his head “no” and sure enough Andrew shoved his hands in his pickets.  
“Ok look you need to calm down so you could breath regularly, can you put your hand on my chest to mimic my breathing?, I won’t touch you i promise”.  
Neil nodded and moved closer to Andrew and did as he told him.  
“Now concentrate on my breathing and try to match me ok just in and out”

After a couple of tries Neil started calming down and slid to the floor with his hands still firmly planted on Andrew’s chest and as he did he could feel some of the tension leaving Andrew’s body.

They sat like that for what felt like hours with Neil’s hand on Andrew’s chest and his head resting on his lap, and Andrew sitting perfectly still with his hands still firmly in his pockets and softly murmuring to Neil “you’re home, you’re safe, I’m here i promise, this is your home, the foxes are your family”

“I’m sorry” Neil muttered against Andrew’s thigh.  
“No, you’re an idiot” Andrew deadpanned which earned a small chuckle from Neil.  
“I know but I’m your idiot”  
“150% Josten going to 200%”  
“Just don’t...., i mean i.....”  
“Boring, use your words Josten”  
“I’m scared and i need you so don’t leave, you’re my..... you’re my home Andrew, i just... i need you”  
“Congratulations Josten you’re at 200%”  
Neil laughed at that and moved closer to Andrew, took his hands from his pocket and wrapped them around himself.  
As he stayed there safely tucked in Andrew’s arms he felt safe and sound with his family and friends, his home.


End file.
